Thursday, August 1, 2013

Movie Marathon

woo long time no see!
it's Ramadhan Month now *it'll over in next 7 days though =___=*

so yeah there were a lot of things happened lately

first of all, I'm accepted in university that I enrolled here, place where I live. Finally after a year idling without nothing proper to do huhu~ although it's still kinda sad that my dream to get higher education in Japan should be postponed... and I think this is the new first step to restart everything *hmm?*
stuffs will begin around next 3 weeks, this is kinda nerve-wrecking since it's different from high school of course~

well, since 4 days ago I'm not fasting and I got nothing to do, so I pay a visit to cinema yesterday after health check. I haven't watched Pacific Rim, so I planned to do so. Sadly, I was out of schedule *since it's ramadhan, so the schedule was a bit earlier* so I decided to watch Turbo. The movie was great! I like it! you know, there are a lot of things that can be learned from the movie. And it is such motivating. as kiddo as it sounded, but animation movie always caught my eyes.

there's one line from Guy Gagne that I like, although he is the evil one in this story

"There's no dream that too big nor too small."

that was really moved my heart. My teacher once said, "if you have a dream, don't just get stuck on that position, dream really higher than your previous dream, although it sounded impossible"

so it was like this; if you dreaming to fly to the moon, dream higher! like, you're dreaming to fly out of the Milky Way *okay actually I'm confused to explain this*

so when you cannot reach that really high dream, at least you're not really falling behind

also today, I went to cinema again. *because I was so damned with all unlucky things since morning* And luckily I got a chance to watch Pacific Rim, tough I lost the 10 minutes of its beginning since I waited for the popcorn sheesh~

but overall I really satisfied! the movie was amazing! I really like sci-fi movie, so Pacific Rim was really made my eyes stay still on the screen. and I was like "waa sugeee! kakkoi na~" all the time lol

and the romance part was just a tiny bit. I'm glad, since I don't like romance, and most of action movies are dominated by romantic scenes that I'm not fond of.

also I adored this kid that become the kid Mako Mori... her name is Ashida Mana-chan... uwaaa!! her act was really good! I was moved to tears when she screamed lost her family, and frightened of the Kaiju >__< Rinko-san's act also good! she's cool!

there are a lot of lines that I like from Pacific Rim. I was secretly crying when actually Stacker Pentecost is actually raising Mako Mori, and his act as a father is just....... TAT reminded me of my father~

also this when Chuck about going to be in his Jaeger, his father couldn't go, and Stacker is taking his position, Chuck's father said

"hey, Stacker! you're doing it with my son! my son." with a tone of proud...

I wish that I could watch it with my father. But if he do, I'd probably ended up crying like a baby and he'll scolded me for being like a kid =A=

movies this season are really good! I wonder what should I watch next... I also hoping that there are a lot of sci-fi movies like Pacific Rim~

my movie marathon... lol

Monday, May 20, 2013

What Past Did

oh hi...
I was idling all around. Not idling to be exact. More likely stressing up then I'm gone blank wandering lol.
so I decided to post here.

as you can see above, the title is something related to past.
so, now I'm listening to my favourite song from Jay Chou called Back To the Past, and somehow it reminds me anything that happened in the past.

back around three days ago, I picked up my brother and kak su's sister from their school. And I talked to her a lot. When suddenly this 'bullying' topic came out.

so yes *laughs*, I was also a victim of bullying *laughs* happened when I was in elementary school.
I was a transfer student. Back then, in my previous school, I was an upbeat little kid, but when I'm transfer, I don't know why I've become strangely quiet and timid *laughs*

so, there are two persons are being a transfer student. Me and this male student. My school was separating female and male class.
actually everyone is being so nice to me. But then, when Independent Day. There are a lot of competition held in my school.
I was joining poetry. And I got into around big 10 or so, I forgot. This friend of mine got angry to me. So she scolded me for being in big 10. I was so scared *laughs* strangely she also put this new guy into this trouble *oh, she got a crush on him* she thinks that I also like him since we're transfer students, and everyone was making a fuss about it. She slapped me, and her group also scolded me.
but of course, we already apologizing each other. We entered same junior high school, high school, too. We become friend, though not really close, but we have same interest in badminton.


I also remember,  I'm really boyish and quiet, and so so so introvert. But then since junior high school I cried a lot. Society is really a pain in the ass lol. Though my parents always supporting me like "you got friends, you don't have to close yourself to everyone" but it wasn't what they really saw.
everyone was like "come on, Dee, we're here for you" and I believed them. Unfortunately, after I believing them and joining them, they didn't even listen to me and just leave me alone. Same thing goes since elementary until now
that's why I always say that I hate human, though I'm one of them.

I really thank to everyone for trying to comfort me, I don't need it though xP

hahaha.. that's what I want to share now
bai bai~

*listening to Back to the Past hundred times*

Thursday, May 2, 2013

A Year Laruku in JKT

it is said that the first one is the hardest to forget. That's absolutely true! xD

so, right on this date, a year ago. It was my first time attending a music concert. And it was L'arc~en~ciel's!!!
to attend a concert of a senior band is such a pleasure for me! and that was a concert for their 20 years anniversary!

it need a lot of effort to be exact on the venue. from here, I was glad that I got my flight an hour faster than it should be. although I should swallowed the troublesome traffic jam in Jakarta, I finally arrived at the venue on time.
And also, I met my cyber daughters (?) for the first time! I was so happy can spent time like this with them.

the thing that made me cry: my favourite song 'Hitomi no Juunin' was sung directly from the band! I couldn't forget that moment! TTATT)/ *cry a river*
I was extremely happy, though I should get out in the middle of concert, and watch it from outside since it was too crowded, and I was pressed like crazy.

I hope they're come back again here. Also other Japanese bands! I'd really love to attend! ><

I still keep the wristband and the ticket concert >< the wristband is getting blurred >A<)/

Thursday, April 25, 2013

that's all

I really am confused lately
I'm not asking for a comfort from anyone, but then some trying to do it. Shockingly, after that they got me into something torturing... what the hell are everyone trying to do with me?!

get out of my way, I don't want the old me to come back again...

Sunday, April 14, 2013

It's a Year That He Left, It's a Year We Lost Him

so yeah I really am spamming all my accounts with this

Today is a year that my father passed away. The sadness was doubled from other ordinary days.
so I cleaned his room, though not much. And then sent prayer to him. I hope God listening all my prayer..
It was really sad that I couldn't make a visit to his grave, because it's too far away. Although I can go there by myself, but the way there after from airport needing about 5 hours and tough ways.
But I do have plan to go there...

I remember that he's so tough when he suffered the disease. And when I accompany him in China, all I wanted to do was trying to get him happy, not drowning in his pain. Therefore I told jokes to him, playing cards *that I forced him to play though he wore some kind of oxygen mask*, having chat about what we watched on tv, and so on...

that's all that I can only do...

and a month passed in China, I should go back alone to Indonesia because I had exams at that time. I was so reluctant to go, though there were my mom, cousin and father's older brother taking care of him, but I don't want to leave.. I was rolling crying like baby on his bed crazily whining 'no' to everyone.. and he said to me,

"it's okay... I'm okay here. Good luck with your exams, don't forget to pray for me so I can back as soon as possible"

and I forced to go...
after my exams done, I had this 2 weeks holiday. Since I still have visa to China, and my father was released from hospital for 4 days, so my parents told me to go to Hong Kong so we can meet them
with my 2 younger brothers, I went to HK. Arrived there I was so shocked to see my father

what happened to him?! is he really my father?! that was what I thought.. why?
he lost his muscular body, way too skinny. I wanted to cry but I hold it.

so we waited in hotel's lobby, airport hotel, while the other go applying visa for my brothers. There were only me, father and one of my brother. He looked so happy that he can see my brother. Unknowingly there's tears on my face, he realized it

"why are you crying?"

"nah... it just, why your medical treatment take so long time" I lied..

"you should be patient. I'm okay"

damn how could I accepted his "I'm okay" ?!

we spent 3 days in HK, we go back to Guangzhou by car after visiting disneyland *though only the entrance* he got treatment around a week and we go back to Indonesia together.
in plane, I always strict for seat. I took near the window. my father was in the centre. after around 3 hours flight, he was so worried. Maybe because the effect of his disease. He told me to do this and that for him, and he said

"sorry, I'm sounded so fussy, didn't I?" I really wanted to slap myself.

arrived home late night, the next day I woke up and he went to my room telling that he wanted to borrow my guitar and played it

Guangzhou was too far, so he continue his treatment in Singapore. once a week he go back to back SG-Indo with grandpa, mom, uncle and my cousin.
until one strange day I realize that he couldn't speak. it's the effect. I was so sad. He sounded angry to himself, he even didn't want to look at me.

one day, family in Padang asked to take my father there because they also wanted to take care of him, beside, Singapore and Padang is close. So after from SG they went to Padang. it was around 10 days before he died.

2 days before National Exams, on early morning. My mom crying, on my face. I still fell asleep. And I woke up, she said to me "your father is okay now, he already healed. He's in peace, in heaven, my daughter"

I dropped a silent tears, telling everyone to get out, I don't want to hear it. I was so blank so I called my friend, Sarah, telling her in such uncommunicative way.
grandpa, mom, uncle, cousin and I went to airport. I was so dumb for not bringing my ID, so I went back home and went airport again. Therefore I only have flight with my cousin.

told you, the way there was so long. I arrived in father's family's house late night. We couldn't get to attended the funeral. Cannot see his face for the last time.

the next day I visit his grave, I could only said "hey pa" then praying.

after the first day of National Exam, a lot of friends visiting my house.
I could see my friends have "dude, your father passed away why you can still smiling?!" kind of face

because I remember his promise...

"don't cry, I'm okay, I'll be healed soon. So you don't have to cry"

I keep that dumb promise, though there're few times I crazily cry..

thanks dad for always understand me, knowing me better than others. Though I always be a bastard kid.
thanks dad for everything, although the word thanks far from enough..
Heaven is your home now

your late father and mother missed you and don't want to see you suffered, therefore they asked God to take you so you can be happy together with them :)

I love you dad

can I cry now for you who already healed, Dad?

Current Music: Alice Nine - Fantasy

Monday, March 18, 2013


ah long time no posting here! last time around January? I was hospitalized around January, but it was around 4 or 5 days lol. and I'm up to post my ff haha. so yeah I feel like my personal blog is abandoned.

whaddup lately? a lot of things happened of course.
so what am I up to now? like I said before, ff-ing! lol yeah¬

ah¬ I'm not sure what to post. I just want to post here cause I haven't been here lately.
so I guess that's all from me, I'll post things later¬

p.s: finally I got new laptop!! lol

Friday, January 11, 2013

404 page not found : brand new page

hei yo! howdy!
akemashite omedetou gozaimasu! happy new year everyone *it's way too late, I know* -__-

talk about 2012, it was "the lost year" for me.
why? because I lost a lot of things last year.
my Galaxy Tab, my father my cats Nugget and Negi, my scholarship to Japan, almost lost my life *lol yeah*, it was the saddest year in my life. I was shocked and frustrated, but I can do nothing except keep moving forward. so yeah this is it, I still can meet 2013, thanks God :D

and maybe this brand new year will be a make-up session *lol* because I'll begin my new life, I wish everything will go smoothly.

seriously I don't know what to say on this post haha
that's all maybe

hope this snake year will bring us luck, health and prosperity!
have a happy new page everyone! ;)

p.s: I'm working on multi chapter fic now, wish me luck! ><